Hey Parent Warriors, buckle up!
Your teen is not the teen you knew even a week ago.
Your teen is sulking, angry, continually arguing with you and unwilling to discuss anything. You’re standing there wondering, How the hell do I help without losing my own mind? Here are a 5 ways to help you cope with a situation, which feels almost impossible, especially when anxiety and depression are in the mix.
What’s really going on under that anger?
When your teen lashes out, it’s rarely just about a messy room or curfew. Anger is often covering up something bigger: fear, sadness, shame, or feeling out of control. Add anxiety and depression into the mix, and suddenly you’ve got a teen who is overwhelmed but doesn’t know how to ask for help. Therapy for teens in California often reveals that anger is the tip of the iceberg, while deeper emotions are buried underneath.
Hey, you know what you can do? Try some of these strategies.
Here’s the tough-love guide to staying sane while supporting your teen:
- Even if it feels impossible, stay calm. Yelling back only fuels the fire. As difficult as it might seem, be a model of self-control and kindness.
- Listen, don’t lecture. Although they might not be willing to talk to you, be available to listen. Sometimes your teen doesn’t need advice, they need to be heard. You can say something like, “I can see you’re having a tough time. I am here if you want to talk about it.”
- Boundaries matter. Even though your teen is acting out against everything you know is important, they need structure and consistency. Yes, they need a curfew. Yes, they need some boundaries around their behavior. Be curious rather than judgmental. DON’T BE A DOORMAT.
- Take a Breath and Cool Down. Don’t insist on a heart-to-heart when your teen is really upset. Why not wait until things settle down, and see if you can approach these issues calmly.
- Reach out to a therapist. Have your teen meet me once to see if we will work well together. You can show them this page, which speaks directly to adolescents. If you’re not sure if it’s the right time for a therapist, see below…
Wondering when to reach out to a therapist?
If your teen seems impossible to reach, unhappy with bursts of sadness or anger, and continually arguing with you, it’s time to bring in backup. Teen therapy in California gives your kid a safe space to process emotions, while also helping parents to build a healthier relationship with their adolescent at home. Therapists who specialize in anxiety and depression in teens can teach your teen healthier ways to manage stress, and help you build better communication as a family.
Structure and Consistency is Your Ticket to Ride.
You don’t have to choose between being strict or being caring. You can set limits with kindness and compassion. Your teen will push every button you have, arguing about everything under the moon. With patience, structure, and professional support, things can shift.
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Michelle Webber, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and life coach in California with over 25 years of experience helping teens, adults, and families navigate anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles. Through humor, mindfulness, and practical tools, she offers therapy that’s equal parts compassionate and no-nonsense. Learn more about teen therapy in California with Michelle. Welcoming clients of all backgrounds – LGBTQ+, straight, or any diverse, cultural background. Call now at 323-301-0083 or send a message.
